Understanding different modes of communication between genders can assist in optimizing relationships.
It’s been observed that one of the key differences in gender-based communication is that ‘Women want to feel’ and ‘Men want to fix’.
Before I get accused of stereotypical behaviour, this is recognized as a key differential in communication modes between genders.
I’ve personally seen first-hand how I can quickly default to ‘fix’ mode when discussing issues with my wife and daughter.
Since my attention was drawn to this, I have observed this play out often in conversations between genders.
In this blog, I want to explore what we can all learn in being aware of this.
MEN – Understand that women may want to ‘feel first’. Allow them some time to outline how they feel about an issue. Let them speak and don’t jump in to ‘fix’. Later, then ask them if they are interested in discussing some potential solutions. Again, let them nominate some of their potential solutions before sharing your thoughts and rushing in to ‘fix mode’. You might find that they have already come up with some solid solutions while outlining how they felt while working through this.
WOMEN – Understanding that men want to ‘fix’, you might suggest they hold off on solutions to fix and take the opportunity to articulate how they feel first. Encourage men to take a pause and work through the issue. In stepping it out and sharing how they feel, this may lead to greater overall understanding. Then, allow them to pivot to ‘fix mode’ and be prepared to workshop their proposed solutions.
If both genders adopt a higher level of awareness on this gender communication-mode difference, this could lead to us optimizing communication and problem-solving.
Emotional intelligence between genders is also likely to us achieving better solutions to complex problems.
Relationships based on greater understanding and respect will ultimately also lead to higher integrity within relationships.
Surely solutions based on feelings and fixes – arrived at together through respect and goal-congruence – are infinitely more likely to result in winning outcomes.
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