Imagine there are three large jars in front of us on our kitchen bench. Outcomes you seek are to be placed in only one of the three jars marked:
1. Outcomes we Control
2. Outcomes we Influence
3. Outcomes we Hope for
It turns out that we actually control very few outcomes. We spend endless hours agonizing over trying to place many outcomes in the control jar. It is terribly unfair to ourselves and leads to unhappiness, anxiety and even depression through setting unrealistic expectations.
So let me share a simple plan to systematically manage expectations in uncertain times.
Control
I don’t control anything!
Well, maybe some things.
Control the controllables, For example:
· I can rise early and be punctual
· I can maintain good grooming
· I can maintain a diet and exercise regime
· I can have good sleep hygiene
· I can maintain a strong work ethic
· I can prepare and follow up on my promises
· I can be ethical, friendly and generous
Influence
I can influence outcomes.
Influence the uncontrollables. For example:
· I can have constructive interactions with people with the aim to serve
· I can share my best content and be visible
· I can be generous and vulnerable
· I can be timely and reliable in communications
· I can do the work, stay up to date and follow up
· I can eliminate or reduce exposure to negative actions or individuals
· I can live my values and seek others that share my values
Hope
Hope is not a strategy.
I can hope the uncontrollables work out favourably for me. For example:
· I can hope that there is a quick vaccine invented for CV-19
· I can hope there is not a recession
· I can hope the weather is sunny so I can exercise
· I can hope that interest rates stay low
· I can hope that housing prices do not plummet
· I can hope that my industry is not affected by external events
By imagining which jar an outcome you seek should be placed in, provides perspective.
Spend most of your time working on placing things in the Control jar and the Influence jar.
Don’t spend much time on the Hope jar other than some quiet reflective thinking from time to time.
Control the Controllables.
Influence the Uncontrollables.
Hope is not a strategy.
Keep perspective and focus on what actions control or influence the outcomes you seek.
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