In this blog, I explore the three impressions to create sustainable relationships. This epiphany came to me last year after meeting an individual I envisaged would become a future member of my network.
Here is the story.
Prior to our 1-1 meeting, I had attended a seminar presented by him. I was impressed by his personal journey, content and charisma. This led us to meeting afterwards to introduce ourselves, with a commitment to scheduling a future meeting together.
This was a great first impression.
We then met together again over a solid 90-minute meeting. We shared our backgrounds and outlined our work. I always start by letting the other person tell me about themselves and ask questions to learn more. I then later ask them if I can share my story. After an hour outlining his back-story and approach, when I started sharing my background he remained fixated on dragging us back to his content. Having shown deep interest in him, he didn’t reciprocate as much interest. My impression was that he might be a bit self-absorbed. Nevertheless, we concluded in agreeing to explore opportunities to refer each other, share content and stay in touch peer-to-peer. We both made follow up notes covering what we would both do next.
The second impression started well but then tapered off. But on a positive, we had finished with a firm commitment to support each other with commitments to follow up on.
So, what happened next?
I followed up in the next 24 hours with a personal email thanking him for our time together and expressing my appreciation for his time. I had already gifted him a copy of my book and added him to my list to receive future blogs and videos. In my email, I noted our mutual commitment to staying connected including identifying opportunities to introduce colleagues and prospects. Interestingly, with us both working in consulting but in different areas, there seemed genuine opportunities to cross-refer and develop a peer-to-peer relationship.
What came next was……. nothing.
I did not receive a response to my email following our meeting from him and never heard from him again. I later heard from other colleagues in my network that they had had similar experiences. We concluded he was in fact self-absorbed, failed to get back to people and did not follow up on his promised actions. It is also just professional courtesy to respond to people’s thoughtful thank you emails after meeting.
Wow!
Terrible third impression.
Right?
I’m a big boy and I have been around the block a few times. I’ll be OK.
But I could not refer my network to him.
My introductions reflect on me and I take them very seriously.
What a missed opportunity by him.
He clearly failed the 3 impressions.
Always remember that when people meet you, they are subconsciously assessing the 3 impressions.
The first impression is how you present and interact with them at first instance. This impression is not final, but it should be compelling. Will this meeting carry us forward?
The second impression involves the other person’s pattern recognition in assessing how you present, your story and beliefs. Are you authentic and consistent second time around. Does our second meeting frank my first impression?
The third impression is about conviction and evidence. Do I believe you? Are your words followed by action?
This story illuminates the power and longevity of the 3 impressions.
This should be simple.
But many fail.
Always try and ensure you make the 3 impressions toward invigorating belief in you.
Present & compel.
Be authentic and consistent.
Follow up your words and commitments with action.
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